Today I realized how selfish I have been these past few years. After loosing our Mother and Father I have grown bitter and jealous to some of my family. For example when my sister spoils her grown ass kids or when I think of my nieces and nephews were able to spend that time with their grandparents (my parents). Simply because, my parents are not here to spoil me. When I think of my unborn children and how they will miss out on how wonderful my Dad was at being Grandpa, and how Mom would spoil them the best. It hurts the bottom of my soul that we won't experience that. But what I realized today, is that our Parents were not only our parents but they also filled in for those absent parents within my own family. Today my niece posted a video (see link below) of a Latino rapper, his own original words flowing from his mouth about being a Padre (Father). It hit me right then and there, here I am boo-hoohing about our parents being gone and how I can't do this or that. But I realized, some of my own nephews and nieces have also been without a Father. How their Grandfather filled in or at least tried to fill those voids. I should be thankful that he was able to be there for them as well. As if he wasn't, who knows how their lives would be like now. How some of them never really had a Father figure and may never will, how they could be jealous of us because we had him for 50+ years. Then I also think of my boyfriend who doesn't even know who his Father is, and the pain that has caused which has also influenced who he is today. So as I sit there next time feeling sorry for myself and being sad, I should remember that others are less fortunate than I am. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize if my words of jealousy and sadness hurt you. I love you Family... and hope to one day we get to see them again.
Ser Padre video
Sincerely,
Your baby sis
Your loving crazy Auntie
Azalia
