I take it we all don't have a choice. Our hearts will fall in and out of love at least once if not multiple times and that is ... if we are lucky. We may think that we can control that but who are we kidding? It's how our emotions work. It's how God created us. I know first hand that many of us put up our walls and say "nope not going to fall for that" but in reality if we are thinking that already its because we have fell already. The interest in that other person keeps us enticed and wanting to know more. For those who know me... know where I am coming from. I have put up walls like no other. I don't even want people to break them down because of the fear of disappointment, the fear of lost time. Im only playing myself though, ive come to that conclusion. Im in a constant war with myself. What if I waste 1, 5, 16 years more of my life investing in a life that may not end up in "lifetime"? How do I differentiate whos real and whos fake? Will my heart really tell me? How do I reach the goal of becoming a mother when I have this war going on? Im tired of it, so Im putting the walls down and opening up my heart. Im ready to love again, to enjoy the good times and endure the bad ones. Im ready to let go of the pain and the damage caused. Im ready to forgive and leave it in my past. Ready to move on without making someone pay for the past mistakes.
To love or not to love .... LOVE I couldnt do it any other way. As someone special once told me... "treat yourself don't cheat yourself".
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